My Fear of Marriage

Marriage... thinking about it, it is one of the most misunderstood institutions we have in the world today. Now I have to make it clear that I do not particularly fear getting married but I fear for the marriages in the world today.

It pains me when I sit in a matatu every morning and have to listen to Maina Kageni and Mwalimu King'ang'i's discussions that, more often than not, will be in reference to marriage; how men are cheating on their wives, how women are cheating on their husbands and how all of them believe they are doing the right thing.

Then there is this marriage bill that is being discussed in Parliament. Apparently, I can decide to take on a second wife and there will be legally no offense in doing so. And they say this is an improvement from the previous law which stated that you have to seek consent from the first wife... what improvement is there??? Someone please enlighten me.

What is marriage becoming dear people? When was love and commitment thrown out the window? Have you heard of the stories of bank tellers hitting on single men with fat bank accounts just to milk the money out of them? Is wealth the reason a woman will finally say I do? It pains me when this is what marriage has become. For the men, refer to my previous article Man Up and live up to what you are supposed to be. For the women... I do not know what to say.

We have made marriage a joke that it was not meant to be. It has become a platform for wealth and a shame to the society. Why would anyone want to destroy such a sacred and holy institution that God intended to bring joy, to impact the society and our spiritual lives so greatly; to make it rubbish, to make it so carnal and a mockery of what God intended it to be??

Call me naive, but for all I care, love is the only reason to get married. Love is what will bring a man and a woman together and unite them in the bond of marriage... not wealth and not for whatever other wrong reason people get married today.

Sitting in wedding ceremonies today has made me realize that vows have turned into beautiful poems we recite just as a ritual and not a commitment to the union that one is getting into. Is there any reason then that we sit in a church to witness the wedding if a few years down the line those words that you spoke do not make any sense any more???

But what does the Bible say about it??

Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Ephesians 6:22-23

Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Ephesians 6:25

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 6:28

So do we need a huge billboard for us to get this right?? Do we need it to be shouted from us to understand it?? marriage is holy, marriage is Godly and it is meant to glorify Him. Ever thought how God feels when He looks down at His people and sees how much rubbish we have made out of marriage. 

That being the case, I have made a vow that I will kneel down a pray to god to bring along that girl that I will spend the rest of my life with and one I have known it is her, I will not hesitate to make my vows to love her and to cherish her for the rest of my life... oh, and please do not rush me, I believe I will find her (that is if I have not yet met her) and you shall be made aware of this wonderful finding when it happens.

To be honest, I look forward to marriage. I look forward to finding that one girl who will take my breath away and will become part of me for the rest of my life. I look forward to the day I will stand at the alter and make an honest commitment to love her and to live the rest of my life with her. I look forward to loving, laughing and building life together with her, to argue when we do not agree, but even more so to make up when we reach a compromise.

Yes, I want it to be out of love that I will go down on one knee and ask her to marry me and wait for her, in tears of joy rolling down her cheeks, to say yes. Yes, I want to make that commitment to her because I will love her, and she will love me. I want to mean every single word that I will say as I make my vows.

I look forward to having children with her and taking crazy selfies with them. I look forward to working on my marriage and making it work. I look forward making eternal memories with her and most importantly, making our marriage bring glory to God.

I want to make my marriage work... but as for now, I just pray that God will direct us together and that she will be everything I ever wanted, I will be everything she ever wanted and that we shall both work to making our marriage everything that God intended for it to be.

Yes, I do want to get married, and I want to do it for every right reason that God intended it for.